Bitmaniac

Stephen Covey in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, shares an experience he once had to ride the subway in New York. Picture yourself in the subway early one morning, and everyone seems to be comfortable – people are drinking coffee, reading their newspapers and magazines, working on their laptops, talking on their cellular phones. Everything is normal and peaceful. At each station, some people lose, some people get ahead, all is calm and quiet until the train stops at a particular station, and a man walks in his car with his small children. You are seats for them and then sits in an atmosphere of reflection. While in deep meditation, children begin to run up and down the aisle, shouting, screaming, running around the train car.

How do you feel? Are you mad at the man? Why are you angry? You are probably thinking: This man must take care of their children in public. If he does not know how to care for children, why do they have in the first place! Are you crazy kids to make so much noise? Spoiled children! you might think. It is noted that no mother. Now you might think, I bet the mother left this man with these undisciplined children. See yourself getting into this irresponsible father and meet him, saying: "Excuse me, sir, would you mind tending to your children?" They're being so disruptive, and I think everyone is getting Once a little annoying. "The man looks and says:" Two hours ago these children lost their mother in hospital. She just died, and since then I have been trying explain to them the death of his mother and his only reaction is as follows. "

Now, how do you feel? Children still jumping, screaming and shouting. But now it feels terrible. You feel guilty. Feel sorry for the man, feels sorry for the children, and feel bad for his mother. You might even feel upset with yourself for feeling negatively about the father and children.

I give this example to demonstrate the power of our beliefs. Emotions are not caused by situations. The emotions are caused by our beliefs about situations, beliefs that color our perception and our understanding of events. In this example, children are jumping and shouting, but some of us have gone from being upset to feeling sad, compassionate, and concerned. Others still may feel angry, because they believe that children should always behave in public. Beliefs cause emotions that trigger behavior. If we get upset by a situation and react with anger, is angry because we have beliefs about it. If we feel compassion, because we have compassionate beliefs.

Situations in themselves do not cause feelings. It is our perception of the situation that makes us feel good or bad. Just as situations can not make us happy or sad, another person can not make us feel happy or sad. We choose to be happy or sad. If we seek greater freedom in our lives, we must be objective and rational about the power of our beliefs regarding the power of situations. We control our emotions. When we live in freedom, you choose how to respond rather than let our automatic reactions get the most destructive us.

Now you may ask, "Well, but how can I do this? How do I choose to respond when under pressure, where I have taught to fear or fight, when the situation seems 'bad' to me? "The" PQR formula "can help us to live freely in stressful, anxiety, depression or situations. We pause to question how we would respond rather than react and live to regret the negative reaction. Let me try to explain what I mean by react: You push, I push. Without thinking, I push. This is my reaction. It is immediate and disconnected from my higher self, the constant "I" and meaning of my life. My reaction is an effect of prison. This is not freedom. By applying the PQR formula, however, I can answer. I pause (I'm in the situation), question (How this relates to the meaning of my life? How you want to respond in a world of infinite possibilities!) and then respond (a freely chosen action – not a reaction). Respond rather than react helps us live freely and in greater harmony with our true identity in every situation. It helps us to seize the freedom we seek in order to enter the river of divine life.

Copyright © 2007 Paul Coutinho, SJ

The above is an excerpt from the book How big is your God?
by Paul Coutinho, SJ
Published by Loyola Press, October 2007, $ 18.95US; 978-0-8294-2481-2
Copyright © 2007 Paul Coutinho, SJ

Author
Fr Paul Coutinho, SJ is an internationally recognized Ignatian scholar and speaker that brings an Eastern influence to Western spirituality. A Jesuit province of Bombay in India, often leads retreats, gives spiritual direction, and trains people to lead the Spiritual Exercises. Fr Coutinho has expertise in clinical psychology and religious studies, and has a doctorate in historical theology from Saint Louis University. Currently divides his rhyme between India and the United States.

About the Author:

Fr. Paul Coutinho, SJ, is an internationally recognized Ignatian scholar and speaker who brings an Eastern influence to Western spirituality.

Article Source: ArticlesBase.com – Do you React or Respond to Life?

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